Dress: ADIDAS | Block Heels: New Look
Hi guys, I hope you are well and enjoying the lovely spring weather. How wonderful has it been these last couple of weeks? We even had a rain-free bank holiday with plenty of sunshine – the first one in England for 11 years!
LISTEN, if that doesn’t convince you that it’s YOUR time then I don’t know what will! I mean, everything is possible! America’s president was a reality TV star! Imagine that. Anything is possible.
So my introduction (accidentally) ties in with what I wanted to write about today. A lesson I have been going through this year regarding believing in myself, believing in my ideas and in my dreams.
I think we are all born knowing exactly what we want – well it starts with food or a mother’s breast in my case, then we go through the motions to stay comfortable and happy. As babies we cry when we are uncomfortable, and we cry when we are unhappy, until our parents/guardians figure out what we want. Ah bliss! (Ironic that this is probably the best stage of our lives and we don’t even remember it eh?)
Anyway as we get older, we get more conditioned. We start listening to adults telling us what we can and cannot do. That we cannot just follow our dreams because we have responsibilities. Or that life has a generic path that everyone is walking down which we are supposed to follow. We are forced to begin following that path through school, then we get older and learn that maybe our dreams don’t mean nothing, maybe our imagination is supposed to just stay in our minds and that all the ideas we had where a childhood fantasy. Right?
To be honest, I didn’t really think about it. It’s taken several events to force me to reflect on my own limited self-belief. At one point I realised that I have ALWAYS had these dreams. I am not just doing things for the sake of it but I have actually always been this person. I wanted to do certain things, to be a certain person and to live a certain way. It’s crazy because I don’t think we realise just how much we let go of ourselves to ‘fit’ into the ideas and ways of society. It’s like we are conditioned to follow others rather than STICK to our own ideas about life and how to live it.
This year has been so eye opening for me. We are one hundred and twenty-nine (129) days into 2018 and the lesson for me is loud and clear: You are right, you were right. You were right to have your dreams as a kid, they were right for you. You were right to do what you enjoyed as a teenager, things that made you happy. You were right not to care what everyone else thought or what they were doing. You were right.
You were right to believe in yourself. And you really ARE all those wonderful magical things you thought you were and wanted to be.
Nothing can stop you living your purpose apart from yourself.
Step into it with confidence. This is your year, and mine.
Love and light x MC
Top: PrettyLittleThing | Shorts: Missguided | Heels: New Look | Photography: CHIP
Hi guys, Happy Easter! How are you? It’s been a minute since I posted, actually it has been two months! That is such a long time for me but I have been doing a few things, travelling and thinking about life too.
To summarise, I visited America in February. We went to Atlanta and then spent some time in sunny Florida. It was a wonderful trip, necessary and fulfilling. I came back home in March and since then I have been VEGAN! *Insert scream here* I know right! Can you believe it? I aint even going to Coachella! (Beyhive y’all know 😉 ) But as much as I appreciate Queen B’s talents and influence, I had always planned to go vegan…eventually. I was vegetarian in University for a while and had always planned to go back. It has been four years since then so you can see how long it took me to mentally prepare for a vegan life. But I’m very glad I made the commitment. I can go into more detail about what I’m eating, how the journey’s been and tips on this in another dedicated post – just let me know if you would like that.
This post is more about the culmination of all the thoughts, experiences and lessons over these few months.
Value (n). ‘The importance, worth, or usefulness of something’
Have you considered that who you are now, your desires, your dreams and wishes are linked to your purpose on earth? I’ve gone through a period of deep reflection and found several underlying traits that have been a part of me in one way or another as far back as I can remember. For example, I have always regarded my physical health as important. I can remember thinking I should participate in more sport when I was 12 years old and actually deciding then that I wanted to be a fit individual. That is just one example but there are many other things that have been fundamental to shaping me.
I am learning to hold on more to these things, to realise they are part of my fabric and embrace each one despite of how society perceives them, negatively or positively. In accepting parts of myself, I am beginning to recognise the significance of my being, and finally starting to live on purpose. I will write that again:
‘Live on purpose’.
See I realise that when you discover the wonderful varied creature you are with all your complexities and twists you begin to appreciate and believe in yourself when you realise that there is actually no one else on earth like you. You have been made different for a reason. The difficulty in this time and age is that there is a constant pressure in the background or foreground sometimes to be like everyone else. We have access to each other’s lives like never before, and with that comes the creation of societal ‘standards’ from this herd mentality we have as humans to follow what gathers the most worldly value. An example is social media e.g. Instagram. Bloggers on Instagram fall under certain categories, if you are a fashion blogger – you plan your feed a certain way, take your photos from certain angles and have your makeup a specific way. It’s like there is a grade you have to meet to ‘fit’ into these categories and it’s like what if I don’t? So I don’t get a thousand likes on my photos and I don’t have thousands of followers. Am I doing something wrong? Am I good enough? Am I enough?
You do not realise how easy how easy it is to fall into this trap, until you find that you have forgotten why you started. Who you are, the value of those unique pieces we discussed above that shape the wonderful individual you are. So what do you do when the world doesn’t value you? Should you quit?
Not everyone can be the same. We all have different gifts and it doesn’t mean if you do not look a certain way or do things like the next person you are wrong. Not at all. Even the most celebrated individual had to learn to see themselves for their goodness.
The first step is to accept and recognise your traits. What makes you who you are? Who are you? Your gifts are your God-given compass points that will align you to the path of your dreams and lead you to your purpose. Value everything that makes you who you are.
Love and Light x MC
OUTFIT: Missguided | Skin: Bodyshop Bronzer
“If we are going to die, I’d rather die in Miami” – Metiya, A and Sam on Hurricane Irma.
How has 2017 been for you? Mine was epic. I learnt so much about myself and my strength but also my weaknesses. My highlight this year has been something I haven’t actually blogged about. It was my birthday trip to Miami. I’ve been waiting to share this with you for the longest. See ever since I accepted that my September birthday in England is always filled with rain, I’ve been booking a trip outside the UK to celebrate it. This year was no different, me and my girls got ready – the destination was Miami.
everything most things, you are supposed to do in Miami. We woke up at 5pm for all-day breakfast and fresh juices. We met people from all around the world and enjoyed beach days and jolly nights filled with dancing. There was something so liberating about Miami, we were free in every sense of the word.
Visiting the Miami Art District – Wynwood Walls
The picture of the boys has been my screensaver for years- we just randomly found it! Shorts : Missguided | Flat sandals : Similar Aldo
Dress: Missguided | Heels:Similar Public Desire
There were several signs I had in Miami that it was where I was supposed to be. Even when things were not going exactly to plan. The day of my birthday we got up ready to enjoy a boat cruise and toast to another year of life when two of my girlfriends walked into the hotel room looking rather gloomy for a birthday celebration. I was confused and did not understand their expressions. But one of them said to me – ‘Metiya, we are leaving – there is major hurricane on the way to hit this very spot.’ I was in shock to be honest, my girls will tell you I was in straight out denial that this was happening.
The irony. Girl runs away from English weather and rain, only to be hit with a hurricane in Miami! It took a while to dawn on me, but after heading out of our hotel for breakfast and seeing the normally relaxed locals boarding up their properties – we realised it was time to go. We had to leave. I spent my entire birthday on the phone – on hold to our airline, then on hold to our travel agent and by 8pm that night we realised that we would have to make a decision for ourselves because no one seemed to have the information we required. We spent the night in silence in our thoughts and the following morning we were awakened by loud banging on the hotel door as we told there was an evacuation. The mayor had declared a state of emergency and there was to be a mandatory evacuation of South beach.
We did as we were told and I started praying because there were no flights out. We couldn’t find a rental car to drive out and we had just been evacuated from our ‘safe spot’. The night before, my two best friends and I had sat together and had a very honest conversation about our options. We thought about dying on the beach, dying mid-way in the air or dying on the drive out of Miami to some ‘safer’ areas. We realised personally that if we were going to die – it would rather be in the place that brought us so much joy and peace. We did some research and found out our hotel was recently built – it had hurricane proof technology and was secure enough to withstand strong winds. The only issue would be the flooding. We could be trapped for days without water or food. We had to consider our options of survival.
As we waited to check out at the lobby after being kicked out, I wondered what we were going to do. I opened the map app on on my phone and started thinking about where we could go. This was predicted to be a Category 5 hurricane, the strongest the area had seen – Hurricane Irma. I did not tell my family at that time but I did say a prayer with the girls. We decided to head up North, mainland to a spot we hoped would be safer than South Beach. We got there – it was nowhere near as lavish as the 5 star luxury hotel we had been residing in, but it was something – and at that moment it was everything to us. I walked around the beautiful surroundings before lockdown, imagining in my head that the blue sky would be gone, the lovely greenery and flowers would cease to exist and there would be destruction to such a beautiful place. As I walked around, I realised that nothing on earth is perfect. You can find the most perfect place, most beautiful and warm surrounding – but even it will suffer the ugliest turnaround.
I guess I saw then that life is not about finding something perfect – it’s about accepting that everything is flawed and choosing which flaws you would rather live with.
As I was walking around, I noticed a large familiar tree. I stepped closer and realised that it was a Moringa tree! I have a thing for Moringa trees. When I was a kid in Zambia, I was surrounded by them, but did not know what they were at the time. As I grew up in England I got into herbs and began buying Moringa online in University. It was only when I visited Zambia in April this year that I realised that all those trees I had grown up with where actually Moringa trees! All this time I was online searching for something and it was in my childhood home all along. Life is really ironic. But when I stood there, underneath the Moringa Tree in Coral Springs Florida, I realised that this was EXACTLY where I was supposed to be, a sign that God had heard my prayer and allowed us to find safety. And I stopped worrying.
We got on with our hurricane supply shopping and familiarised ourselves with the emergency actions to be taken. We were under a ‘lockdown’ which meant that at a certain time no one was allowed to be outside as it was not safe. We had the news on and watched the weather reporters track Hurricane Irma as it made its way to us. [God bless all the islands that were hit, as you might have seen on the news some places were terribly affected ] So eventually it came, we lost electricity, we were hit by a few tornadoes, the neighbourhood was affected quite badly but ULTIMATELY – we survived! We were fine! None of us were hurt. And I am so grateful to God that he had allowed me to be a survivor.
Despite the hurricane coming on my birthday, it was still the best birthday I have had. I loved Miami and genuinely feel that experience affected me deeply. I made some decisions off the back of it. And one of them was to live life with purpose. It has changed everything.
I don’t know you if you will have read all this. But if you made it to this part, I want to tell you that your life is a gift, you have been created for a special purpose that only you can carry out. There is no need to settle for what anyone else says that you should be or do. Your truth will never leave you, and I hope in 2018 we can both seek our truth and live it out to the full together.
Love and light x MC
Location: MC x PLT
MetiyaChique X PrettyLittleThing
I’m so excited to share this post with you, as the topic has been on my mind for a while now. There is a rush going round with all the buzz and excitement of closing 2017 and seeing in a New Year. For some, it’s a chance to reflect on the past year – what you achieved, what you overcame and even what you learnt through the not-so-good decisions.
For others, the end of the year presents an opportunity to delve into dreaming and planning for the coming year – what you will achieve, where you will go and who you will be. The wise ones amongst us will probably combine the two – reflecting on what 2017 has taught us and taking the lessons to plan a successful 2018. Many thanks to the guys at PrettyLittleThing for this gorgeous activewear and helping me to be my best this year.
I’ve mentioned before my struggle with perfectionism. Someone once told me its a Virgo thing, but I think it’s a human trait we all possess – this desire to be without flaw aka flawless. And it hasn’t been helped by the rise of social media. This visual channel has allowed us to paint photos of perfect stills that give the notion of a perfect life. We fall for it when others do it and we strive for it off camera as well, knowing deep down that nobody is perfect. But still we try so hard to create this image of a perfect life, perfect appearance and perfect happiness online.
That is probably why my biggest struggle has been letting go of the ideas others had about who I should be. And my biggest achievement (a work in progress) is embracing who I actually am fully, by letting go of this idea of perfectionism. See the problem I found was that striving to be perfect was never really about me, my eyes face outwards so I can’t look at myself. But it was more about how others perceived me. How I appeared to strangers on the internet, neighbours on the street and colleagues at work. We now live in a society that is constantly bombarding us with ideas of how we should be, what we should look like – how to wear our makeup, how to wear our hair, how to appear thinner or how to make your bum bigger and it goes on and on.
It’s easy to lose yourself in all of it and forget the most important question of all:
What will make ME happy?
This year has been all about loving EVERY part of myself. From my natural kinky hair to my full features – lips, cheeks and even my imperfect body. I truly believe everyone is beautiful and special regardless of whether popular culture thinks so or not. You might not see a girl with your body or your skin or hair in the magazines or the popular Instagram channels. But I want you to know that you are perfect just as you are.
As we head into 2018, the temptation is there for me to be like – I want the PERFECT body next year. I want to be hotter than hot, untouchable like a Baywatch actress and bootylicious like Beyonce. Then I ask myself, okay – what if you are not any of those things? What will happen then? Will you cease to be beautiful? will you cease to be hot? will you die? The answer is NO! I am already all those things I want to be just by being me! There is absolutely no pressure for me to look like ANYBODY else because I am enough. And so are you. So this year a goal for me is just to be fit! I want to run up and down the stairs without losing my breath, to be able to dance all night without losing my legs and to live life to the full knowing that I’m enough.
Many thanks to PLT for these lit training outfits to make me look good as I’m doing so. You can check out their Activewear range here and get yourself feeling good! [Photography by TKJ Global Media Ltd]
So can I invite you to join me? Let us say Forget You to New Year’s resolutions and instead write : EMBRACE MYSELF FULLY.
Love and Light x MC
Location: Faro Portugal
“People are capable, at any time in their lives, of doing what they dream of.” – Paulo Coelho, The Alchemist
African print chitenge suit designed by me| Handmade in Zambia| Preorder here.
Hello happy Sunday – if you are reading this on Sunday. It’s a beautiful morning where I am; the sky is blue, the sun is shining and the birds are singing in the garden – maybe speaking, but it’s a wonderful sound. You know days like this make it easier to be optimistic, but I want to talk about less bright days, tougher times and challenging periods of our lives.
I recall a period of darkness when things where so muddled mentally and emotionally that I couldn’t even describe it. My best friend would be like ‘how are you?’ And all I could do was make this sound like ‘Pfffffffffzzzzzgghhhhtttt’ and the most frustrated face. And she just knew then that I was about to cry, because I felt trapped.
The last few weeks, I’ve been thinking about not thinking. Basically, about doing. Turning your thoughts into actions without excessive thinking. I admit I am a overthinker, it’s what I do, but its crazy to me that I get so frustrated about the same things I was frustrated about in 2010. How do you justify inaction on ideas you’ve had for over 5 years? I mean something has got to give right? Clearly there is an issue with your method that is affecting your results.
The only thing I knew for a fact regarding my desires, was that I over-think and I over-plan. So this month, when November came round, I made a choice – let me say it again for the people skimming through; I MADE A CHOICE to stop thinking and start doing. I threw out planning and focused on doing – literally making a way through making a way. I said what do I want? And decided to have it. Why am I not happy? What would make me happy? Things like:
- I need to be fitter physically
- I need to value those that value me
- I need more sleep so that I feel less tired and get more done in the day
- Girlllll I need to get this natural hair in check!
- I need to define what success is for me and how to achieve it
So here is what I CHOSE to do:
- I signed up to the gym.
- I removed
anyone anything that did not add VALUE to my life.
- I went to bed before midnight.
- I started to separate the front area of my crown for moisturising, washing, everything (because I have experienced breakage here)
- I became INTENTIONAL about my success.
For every thought I have now, I try to match it with an action. It could be something as simple as saying ‘I want to be a better friend’, so I pick up my phone and call my girl. Or I pick up something in the shop that she would like. You don’t need to wait for 2018 to start working on what you want, from life and mostly from yourself.
You are a star baby girl/baby boy. This is your world and you have the power to make it what you want. So what resolutions do you have for 2018 that you could start working on right now? What choice are you making about your life today? Share with me in the comments, let’s glow up together and step into next year shining like the diamonds we are.
Love and light x MC
Location: Faro Portugal
If I could title this period of my life, I would probably call it ‘Transition’
African print chitenge suit designed by me| Handmade in Zambia| Preorder here.
“Ever since the hurricane, nothing’s been the same.”
Everything is changing, the weather is going through autumn changes, the trees are shedding their golden leaves, the nights are longer and darker. Within me I feel a change too. I’m not sure exactly when it happened, I think it was probably just a build up of recurring events that got me really frustrated. And I had to question it you know, what could be causing so much frustration in my life? Constantly have me battling feelings of inadequacy and insufficiency?
I’ve finally reached a point where I don’t want to fight myself anymore. I want to be kind and patient with myself and my journey. I’ve decided to detach from what it should be in my mind, from the same ideas I’ve had for so long of who and how I should be, and instead embrace who I am right now and what I have. You know? I don’t care at all about sacrificing my happiness for the sake of a future I can’t see, I deserve to live the life I want right now.
This is the thing about balance – you have to think of how your actions will impact your future, but not be afraid to live your life to the full in the present moment. But fear drives so much of society and the frameworks that hold us to the same monotonous life cycles that have got us so trapped, that we barely think about our purpose here on earth before our deathbeds. I probably have been living in fear for a long time, it’s strange because sometimes fear merges into normality and when something is ‘normal’ you are almost forced to accept it, right? Well no.
I reached a point where it wasn’t making any sense to me, things that seemed to be working for other people were just not sufficient for me, I wasn’t experiencing the same results and I really started to hate it, everything. I found it a cursing to have a dream that I could not live, to carry a vision that I never had the chance to work on and it really got me down.
In this life, we decide our own happiness, we pave our own paths and choose what we want to believe. The 50/50 thing, I have tried it and it doesn’t really work for me. It’s like this:
My iPhone has a code on it, and I was prompted to change it the other day. I woke up today and tried entering my old passcode to unlock the phone but it didn’t work, so I tried it again, and again and again. After about the fifth time, I realised that there was something wrong with the code – not with me, not with my fingers, not with my phone but simply that the code I was entering was incorrect. Then I realised that I had changed the code and remembered the correct one.
It sounds silly but I wonder how much of that I do in my life. You know? With other aspects of my life where I try the same thing again and again and again, and I blame myself when it doesn’t work. I say ‘ohh Metiya you are inconsistent, you are uncommitted, you are unwilling to put in the work or not good enough’ and that is all so wrong!
I am good enough. I am enough. I can do it.
But perhaps my method is the issue, not me, but the method in which I am trying to resolve my work.
This transition for me is into finally living by my own rules. Not doing things because that is what is expected of me or because of other people, or society’s unspoken rules. But just going for it, because its what I want to do. Because it will bring me peace, and ultimately because its what I was made to do, my purpose.
I hope we find the wisdom to recognise life’s short span, and the courage to live out our dreams as though we have no other choice. I remind you once again, that everything you have been through up to this point has been to prepare you for you the next chapter of your life. But now its up to YOU to bundle up all your wisdom & experience and decide that you are ready to walk into your next chapter, without fear of how it will end.
Love and light. Always x MC